HE IS….

The doors that shut in my face
Concluded that will always be the case
The places that had paths have weed covering the whole place
Will I ever get to where I’d like to be? Because life is a race

The canopy of trees so dense
No fragment of light can pierce
Leaving the place engulfed in darkness
It caresses your skin with fondness
If you breathed your next breathe
It would be darkness you inhaled
Keeping your eyes open or closed is the same difference
You want to take your next step
But your senses are messed up that locomotion and balance
Are the last things on your mind

Taking a seat in the wilderness doesn’t seem like something people do
But it seems like the wilderness was designed to keep me and not propel me
It has me conforming and not confronting
It has me singing complaints than praises
It has me feeling defeated than a conqueror
It has me thinking I’ll be here for a while so I should find a matchstick
Start a fire and make myself comfortable

I have said words I never kept
And when I realized so
I don’t make promises anymore
I just do
I don’t always manage to ‘do’ but at least it’s a decision in the right direction
Seems other people didn’t get the memo
There are so many promises that remained promises unmet that the next promise gives you a flashback of the unmet ones and your default response is doubt
Not excitement or expectance
But doubt

My life has been overdue for a miracle
For my doubtful heart to trust
For my life to taste goodness
For my ears to hear praises
For my anxiety to know peace
For my hopelessness to see hope
For my sadness to know joy
For my lack to experience overflow

This and more might be the ways you’re feeling
But the Lord is saying this to you right now
He divides seas and leads his people through
He makes water stand up like a wall
He splits rocks in the wilderness
He brings streams out of a rock
He makes water flow down like rivers
He can rain down manna and give grain from heaven
He can rain meat down like dust
He makes ways in the wilderness and rivers in the desert
HE IS A WAY MAKER

He watches over his word to see it come to pass
He fulfills his promises
Revokes any curses
And doesn’t abandon his plans He wrote the end from the beginning
Till everything had his blueprint
And promised to bless every work with my fingerprint
Yahweh the reigning King

He promised to be a father to the fatherless
Mother to the motherless
Peace for those weary
Joy for those weeping
Provider for those lacking
Answer for those asking

He promises to Love you with all his heart
To always protect you from harm
To be by your side in sickness and in health
For richer or poor
In the good and bad times HE IS A PROMISE KEEPER

He spoke light to an earth that was formless
An earth that was void
And the deep was covered in darkness
But when he said
‘Let there be light’
There was light

You wait for the light at the end of the tunnel
But he is the light in it
Because you’re in the tunnel
And in his light we see light and receive sight
Once blinded by darkness but now we can see
The light to our path
HE IS THE LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS

You count the stars at night
That’s how many times he has been more than faithful

ALL CREATION SPEAKS

His presence is felt when the wind blows
Making the branches shake
And the leaves fall when it flows
It is as gentle as a whisper reminding you you are loved when you’re asleep
Causing a slight smile as it brushes against your cheek
It is as raging as the storm that causes trees to fall at its might
And houses to crack up and wash away like footprints left on sand

His touch is seen in the flowers
How they blossom with so much care and grace
Facing the sun as to get their nutrients to survive and live
How they sway with the wind so as not to break if they didn’t comply
How they brighten up an orchard with their spectrum of colour
They do it with ease
And when their season is up
The leaves dry and fall off but they are still standing
Up until the next season of blooming

His might is seen in the mountains
How they stand with strength
And challenge anyone who sees its splendor
How they stand through all seasons without falling
And bruise anyone who dares challenge it
If we play mountain,
He gently caresses our ages
Weathering to pebbles at the foot of he the mountain

His consistency is seen in the Sun
How it always rises from one end of the heavens
Even on the rainiest of days
There is still light piercing the clouds
Illuminating the world
How it shines with so much dominance
It doesn’t need to be told how and when to
It will shine
And brightly

His creativity is seen through his creation
To create creatures so diverse
Their genesis in every verse
From spots to striped coats
From cheetahs with their natural Nikes
And porcupines with their protective spikes
Unique to each species

To create over 7.8 billion humans
And never repeating any
Having their own unique abilities
Smiling and Laughing as they may
Sounding and Looking their way
And everything in between

His greatness is seen in the sea
How it is great and broad
In which they are creatures both great and small
There, the ships of the sea sail
And the magnificence of the whale dwells

His geno can be seen as the stars align
Showing the magnificence of his beauty as they shine
Up above the world so high
I can see no limits of his expands as I look to the sky

All creation waits for him
To give them their food in their appointed season
He gives it to them, they gather it up
He opens his hand; they are filled and satisfied with good things He hides his face, they are dismayed
He takes away their breath, they die
And return to their dust
He sends out his Spirit, they are created
He looks at the earth, and it trembles
He touches the mountains and they smoke
May the glory of the Lord endure forever.


Thank you for reading 💙This writing was inspired by the beauty of nature and all he has created🔥Romans 1:20 puts it like this 👇Be blessed🙏

For ever since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through His workmanship [all His creation, the wonderful things that He has made], so that they [who fail to believe and trust in Him] are without excuse and without defense.
Romans 1:20 AMP

BEAR WITH EACH OTHER

A picture through a door peephole is enough perspective I needed to come to the decision that maybe they aren’t right for me
I deserve better
Why should I keep carrying them along with me when their in collaboration with gravity to keep me on the ground?
I want to rise but they are a weight
Weight so heavy it makes my heart sink when I think of all they have done
I want to be happy but they are the sadness
Sadness like thick white fog consuming all the happiness I can see in sight that I cannot see my very feet
I want to be free but they are the bondage
Bondage so loose but so strong that it pulls me back without the use of force and chains
I deserve better

They are to blame for all the hurt that lingers when I hear their name by someone so unconsciously asking how they are doing
I bet they are doing fine
If you are not sure, you ask them
They are the reason I found myself seeking validation from you
Seeking validation from the created who are seeking answers for unanswered questions
They are the reason I believed in ‘I am doing this for you’ a little less
Because clearly at the end of it, what they claimed they were doing for me
They were doing for them
It was their win and it didn’t matter who they had to lose or trample over to win
Which they did eventually
But at the cost of my peace
At the cost of my happiness
At the cost of my sanity
So a picture through a door peephole is enough perspective for me

I finally came to the decision that I’m letting them go
I didn’t hate them or anything but I just didn’t want to see them
It will be better for me
Yes, I am doing things for me now
I forgive them but I want to forget them
And it is at this point the brain is supposed have a wipe or reset button and everything is back to factory settings
I am fresh and new with my thoughts loosed from the hurt

But obviously there was no button I could push but I figured with the distance, in that I won’t see them anymore as well as time
I would be fresh and new in no time
Since there is a saying that goes ‘Time heals all wounds’

But then I saw them a few months later and everything came flooding back like it was just yesterday
What happened to time healing wounds?
Is it specific for people and situations?
It can heal your wounds but not mine?

It took me a while to accept this until I heard it from a wise woman who told me
‘Time doesn’t heal wounds, it’s what you do with the time that does’
That just wrecked me
To have spent so much time and nothing changed
It still hurt
But I didn’t want it to
I knew the first step I had to take is give my heart to the healer
Was telling him my heart is his, enough?
I really didn’t know
But that’s all I knew so that’s what I did

On one particular day, I came across a scripture that said ‘Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you’
I had to pause and remind myself
The scriptures are an instruction manual
So when I read his word I am hearing from him

Before I went into ‘forgive one another
I had to think of what the phrase ‘Forgive as the Lord forgave you’ meant
Was it just me who felt like this phrase was gentle?
It didn’t have any exclamation marks indicating strong emotions
It was gentle
What did the Lord forgive me of?
What did the Lord forgive you of?
What did the Lord forgive us of?
With how he showed forgiveness towards me and you
Forgive him
Forgive her
Forgive us

To do that, I had to change the angle at which I view things
I needed a larger frame
All that the door peephole made me see was me
My hurt
My loss
My sanity
But with a larger frame which is the Word of God
It provided a God’s eye view on everything
It made me frame hurt and unforgiveness differently
It taught me to make allowances for others faults
It showed me how the Lord has already extended his grace towards you and me

To pray to God to help you forgive is the first thing
But to move in forgiveness is the best thing
To move in forgiveness is to put on the garment of love
It’s your basic, all purpose garment
Never be without it

_____________________________________Thank you so much for reading and I’m so glad I’m back💃. Colossians 3:12-14.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Colossians 3:12‭-‬14 NIV
Stay blessed 🙏😊

NOT HER OWN

She can see the little mountains of hope she spent her life building slip into the heart of the sea
She can see the waters roaring
The earth changing
And the mountains trembling and cracking
And the only word her mind can come up with is ‘why’?

Sometimes she is tempted to ask why?
In fact, she is asking why
Why does confusion seem to follow her like a shadow?
Isn’t she already having enough?
They say money can’t buy happiness but she hasn’t had the opportunity to deny such claims when she hasn’t had money in the first place
She can barely get through the day
Her body seems to be giving up too
Isn’t she already going through enough?
IS IT NOT ENOUGH YET?

On the darkest of nights she asked,”God are you there?”
And if you are, you probably aren’t so concerned of the child you knew before she was conceived
You might know the hairs on her head but do you hear the cries of her heart?
Sometimes she forgets she has a heart
Because she has caged it up in a bottomless pit
And no one ever goes down there
Because she tried unlocking the chains once before to let her heart beat
Once when she embraced the warmth of her heartbeat
And she begun to feel wanted, loved and part of
When she felt the strangest of things like Love
Love she thought she received and wanted to give
Love that just understood her
Love that she thought will never leave
But it did

They say everyone experiences a form of rejection at some point in their lives
But this wasn’t the regular heart break
This was more
They cut off her heart’s blood supply
And it became diseased
Made sure her heart froze cold
No one ever reached out to her in the darkness
And she begun experiencing symptoms of depression, suicidal thoughts and feeling alone
If she was going to die anyway she might as well do it quick
Pills or the rope
No one would notice
No one would care
So if you asked me, she really has had enough

In the silence of the night
She is wondering if she wants to see tomorrow
Or she should make the rope around her neck tight
And lay six feet deep in a barrow
Cause her life feels shallow.

She rises to see another day but she still feels hollow
And she is asking why she didn’t just end it all
Cause she still feels empty inside
She needs something to give her meaning
Something to give her hope
Something to give her, her fight back
Something to live for

And just when she has reached the very end
She wants to go but all she wants is to stay
But with meaning
With wholeness
With fullness
With joy
With peace
With love

With what she didn’t know she was whispering before she could end it
She didn’t expect a river whose streams make you glad
And it watered down all the thoughts of worthlessness,
Of the world being better with her absence
Because she found someone who wanted her presence
And he said he will be a very present friend
Father, helper,healer,provider

She knows this is not the end but the beginning
The beginning of letting go
The beginning of healing
The beginning of all the things she thought ‘something’ would fulfill

Her journey of wholeness has just began
But she has seen leveling of mountains she never dared climbing
A lifting of valleys she tried to come out of
The rough ground becoming plain
And the glory and majesty of the Lord being revealed.

Her journey of healing has just began
But she is convinced of one thing
SHE IS NOT HER OWN

____________________________________

Thank you for reading 😊This writing was done by Me and an amazing friend Maria Shawa❤️Its touching on the topic of depression and my prayer for you is that as you read this you hope again 🙏 Trust in God again and let him write your story ❤️

God is in the midst of her [His city], she will not be moved; God will help her when the morning dawns.
Psalms 46:5 AMP🙏🔥

HEARTFELT

The whispers of the wind
The secrets of the mind
The cries of a Queen
The hardships of the heart

“To love is to be vulnerable” is what the phrase said
And I have seen and heard why it is so
I actually agree with what was said
But the tears I’ve cried are blades that left scars every time they shed

So forgive me if my mind is singing a song my heart can’t understand
When I’m looking at vulnerability intellectually, it is like a path that I’ve once trekked
But as I continue walking, I realize the path is suddenly cloudy
And I can’t see myself put my foot in front of the other
The ground begins to feel like it is giving in into gravity
It doesn’t feel solid anymore
I can feel my weight lower into the ground
Then it hits me, I have to run back to safety.

So I have a question for the person who orchestrated that phrase
What if I don’t want to be vulnerable?
Isn’t loving me without wearing my heart on my sleeve enough?

But in the silence of the night with my head rested on the pillow
With nothing to busy my mind with
And my thoughts are all I’m left with
I’m forced to address the statement
And have a talk with myself

And in my moment of silence
The one answer I got for dreading vulnerability was
What if the people who love me wouldn’t anymore when they knew the real me?
The struggles I’ve been through
The mountains that won’t move
The holes I had to crawl out off
The wrong people I’ve ran into
I’ve been so lost that the lost looked for me

And as all ground fails me
The only thing between me and safety
Is to cross my red sea
For at the other side someone waits for me

This felt quite familiar
Cause I’ve been jumping over streams
But this wasn’t it,
This time the water touched the sky
This is where I’m supposed to break
I’ve heard stories of how he crossed the sea
I have faith, but it alone won’t do
I’ll keep my eyes on him
I’ll keep my eyes on the cross

With one step at a time, my work is not in vain
Cause if I stay silent the silence speaks for me
When I’m afraid to go on, he always goes before me
And there is a phrase that goes
‘Monkey see, monkey do’
I’ve seen him walk on water so that’s what I’ll do

___________________________________

Thank you for reading.This is a throwback of something I wrote with the help of my brother ❤️ He helped me bounce ideas off him🔥 Thank you again for reading🙏😊Like, comment and share if you may🌤️Happy Sunrise Friday 🌤️🔥

A HEART OF DISCONTENTMENT

All I see is the black dot on a white canvas
Crack in the wall
Hole in the jar
The absent over the present

I thought all I had to do to change such a perceptive was say all I had is what I needed but even as I reechoed those words to myself
It didn’t sound like me at all
Because deep down I feel like I need more for me to say the words
All I have is all I need

I need more love for me as well as for you
Because the love I have for me seems like its been running on empty
And I know the ‘Love your neighbour as you love yourself’ verse very well
And if I am taking that verse literally
I will be loving my neighbour on empty
How does empty love look like?
Can love still be love even on empty?
Right this moment,it is safe to love myself only
Because there ain’t enough for both you and I

Guess it makes me selfish
Cause Its got me looking at life from my side
My eyes
My lenses
It’s got me missing the moment
And worrying about tomorrow
My folly

I need more peace
More sanity for my mind
I need that reassuring peace
When I am in the valley or on the mountain
In the fire or walking on water
On the rainy days and sunny days
At harvest or winter
Prosperity or want
Sickness or health

I need more hope
Because it has been raised by so many people and when they don’t fulfill their word,
It would plummet to the ground with so much force that it is in pieces that can’t be put together
Therefore I chose to not hope
To hope now feels like I’m jinxing the future
Its better to not hope for anything so when it doesn’t happen I was expecting it not to
So to say ‘ All I have is all I need’ just doesn’t sound like me
I really need more

I can’t say I have all I need when I had a childhood were I was bullied to a point of wanting to be someone else
Someone else who would look like she can’t be bullied cause she is just perfect
Maybe a light shade of my skin would do
A bright smile that was all sunshine
With a dimple on both sides of my cheek that would just amplify what I’m really feeling
A flashy hairstyle that would leave the masses in awe
A wine glass body
And a voice that sounded like melodies every time I spoke

My lack of contentment highlighted a character
Known by many as Lucifer
He was one of many gifts
One who weakened nations
An anointed cherub
He walked among the fiery stones
Whose heart became proud on account of his beauty
And corrupted his wisdom because of his splendor
yet despite all his beautiful traits
In his eyes they were never enough
Couldn’t satisfy his ego
And cost him his place in heaven
Hence his great fall

Now me getting to a place were I am okay with who I see in the mirror is a milestone that should be framed
It started with making myself lesser than
Looking at people’s shoes and not there face when they walked in
Purchasing things that would be approved by the person next to me
Or not even having the money to purchase all things I wanted
Doing all the stuff that looked cool
Living to please the masses
When actually I was looking like a fool
I tried to tick all the boxes
Yet still feeling not belonging
It was the applause of the seen audience I was seeking
Rather than that of the unseen God
It was a form of validation I was looking for from mere mortals
Who didn’t even take the time to create me
My story

And after a whole roller coaster ride on my journey of discontentment
I learnt the beauty of contentment
It’s about choosing to be satisfied in God in any circumstance
Trusting that he supplies all our needs
YES ALL
So whether I am found behind bars like Paul and Silas
Or thrown in a hot blazing furnace
I choose to find my fulfillment in God
Who promises never to leave
I choose to daily partake of Jesus water brooks that quench my thirst for whatever doesn’t satisfy
I won’t always have control over what happens around me
But I can make a conscious choice to be satisfied in He who satisfies my soul
The more I looked at life from this view
Gratitude was inevitable
For a content heart is also a grateful one.

____________________________________

Thank you for reading!❤️This specific writing was done by me and an amazing friend and blogger Alice Israel who owns a blog known as Diaries of a poet.🔥 This is a twin post which is available on both her website and mine (if only they was a way of merging our blogs for a day🥺). Thank you for reading once more and you may like, share and subscribe to both her blog and mine if you may.STAY BLESSED.🙏😊Link to her blog:https://diariesofapoet42604148.wordpress.com/

AN EXPERIENCE OF LOSS

The tightness in my chest
Felt like the bones that were meant to protect my insides turned on me
I couldn’t breathe anymore
I could see the trees swaying from the window in the corner but it seemed like the air meant for me to live was gone
I bent down for a second
I needed to remind myself to breathe
I know that sounds funny because we don’t think to breathe
But in this moment I had to tell myself to breathe

It felt like I was a director of a movie
And my cast keeps on leaving
How is the movie supposed to move on?
How am I supposed to perform my director role without them?
A replacement feels like I’m betraying the one who left
But even though I would want to
No one can really replace them

After my wave of breathless came an emptiness
A hearing but not listening
A looking but not seeing
I felt not there
Because I really didn’t want to be here for this
I didn’t want to be here for this

This may sound selfish I know, but I wanted to go first
Because just the thought of being left and not leaving first was heart wrenching
Wanting to feel it all but didn’t know how
I’ve never seen how to
I’ve never read how to because I guess no one has come close to defining this
What I was feeling right now
It was sickening

The experience of loss
How it can be sudden or slow
You know it will happen but just not today
Not tomorrow either
I am not denying the eventuality but just not now
Not just when I’ve realized their value
I used to see her be my mother but this is when she has become my friend
And just when I was exploring that dynamic
She is gone
Just when I got used to my Dad tucking me into bed
He is gone
Just when I realized what a friend they were
They are gone
Oh how it can be sudden or slow

My heart sinking to the pit of my stomach like its being anchored down
You want to tear it out but its not in the place it should be found
I just keep on tugging at my shirt cause I need to pull it out
Feeling it all and an urgent need for it to stop

This is all I felt and more when I lost someone I loved
But me reading Matthew 14 right now
I reach the part explaining the incidents concerning the beheading of John the Baptist
The news reaching Jesus and him leaving privately in a boat to go to a secluded place
The crowds hearing about his location and following him on foot
Jesus going ashore only to see a large crowd and he felt PROFOUND COMPASSION for the crowd and healed their sick
‘Wait, what!’
He literally just heard the news of the loss of John the baptist and he felt compassion?
He lost someone dear to him and he had time to feel compassion for someone?
This is the Jesus in human form experiencing human feelings BUT he felt compassion even when he was hurting

In the evening of that same day his disciples advice him to send the people away but he dismisses their advice and feeds them
He literally just received the news of the loss of John the Baptist
‘Wow’
In my moment of bible reading I am left awestruck
What manner of love is this?
To feel compassion when you are hurting
A recap of my loss highlights something very clearly
I was not thinking of helping anyone because I was HURT
I just lost someone I loved
What manner of love is this Lord?
To send your Son to die for me and you
To show compassion to a person who literally forgets your goodness in an instant
But even so, you keep on Loving me
He keeps on loving you
I am awestruck
I am speechless
I am amazed at such a manner of love

I have not yet found the words to articulate the exact way I feel
But something I’m sure of God
Is how grateful I am for the gift of your Son JESUS CHRIST

DADDY IS HOME

Looking out the window
I would look at the road leading to our home
But he was nowhere to be seen
He would come when I least expected it
Say reassuring words like “I will get you this and that”
And that would elate me
But before I knew it, he would be gone

I would try my best to get through to him
And he would sound like someone who was excited to hear me speak
But If I didn’t make an effort to tell him about what I need
He would be silent as water until the next time I would decide to reach out
And the cycle continued

When he would show up
He would shower me with a gift or two and I would have a good time
But just when the day was done
He would be GONE

Once, I was watching Television
It had all this Christmas vibe
There was Santa Claus visiting homes with gifts
The kids would wake up expectant and they would actually find something under their tree
But was Santa Claus anywhere to be seen?
Was he going to visit the house any other day apart from Christmas?
Then I had a moment of enlightment
‘Wow’ that really sounded like my Dad
Now you see him, now you don’t

He was up for the big days in my life like my birthdays
And even on those days,
It was no guarantee he would remember or actually show up
It was a bet

This experience taught me so many things I never knew I was learning
Like how to never trust a person’s word because it was no guarantee they will fulfill it
And this really saved me from so much heartache
But it is not to say that my learning those lessons was a giddy feeling
I would cry when he forgot it was my visitation day
And when you call,
He would sound honestly sorry
And he actually was
I think

Eventually
After a lifetime of lessons
It never really hurt anymore
It was expected
His absence was expected
His “now you see me, now you don’t” was expected
His gifts on the days he came were expected
His forgetfulness and honest sorry was expected
It didn’t really hurt anymore
Lower your expectations was the mantra

Fast forward to the times I actually noticed how other Dads did it
How they would be there
How they never forgot
Maybe they did but it never led to an expectation of that trait
How they would provide without being reminded
They just knew
But why didn’t mine know?
Why didn’t he know?

Those thoughts began to dig a feeling of inadequacy and of not being worth it
Until they dug a pit big enough I fell in
I began to identify myself with the effort or lack thereof
The value they placed on me became the determinant of my worth
All they said or did became the very measure of my identity for me

Who knew I had a father who could send his ONLY son to die just for me?
FOR ME
Who knew I had a father who called me his own?
Who knew I had a father who not only has the capability to supply all my needs but actually did it?
His words were not empty
His words held hope
His words held assurance
His words were wrapped with love
Love for me
Love for you
He reminded me of how he attended all the events my father didn’t
And even the ones he did

I never knew I had an identity crisis
Until I realized how much the words others spoke about me
Created the image I had of myself
How what they said or didn’t say meant this or that
Then the Father spoke

When the Father speaks, the seas calm
When the Father speaks, the empty and void have life and substance
When the Father speaks, the weak and weary receive strength
When the Father speaks, the dead rise
When the Father speaks, the dead become alive
When the Father speaks, the struggling receive help
When the Father spoke, my heart knew
My heart knew Daddy was home

REFLECTIONS II

It is a war inside
Battling the you you are, for the you you want to be
You know what’s right
You know what to do
It just feels new

It is like looking in the mirror
And seeing myself in that painted glass
It is so close to my feet yet I can’t reach out
The difference between the me in the mirror and the me I am
Is that this me, is who I aspire to be
The me with more joy than sorrow
More peace than anxiety
More in control of things that I think have me.

But when the me I want to be
Comes face to face with the me I am now
It feels like the me I strife for is vulnerable
It feels like the me I strife for is gentle
It feels like the me I strife for is peaceful

But the me I am now is ready to fight for the me I want to let go

It is my shadow
War against my own
It is me against me
The sorrow,the pain,the anxiety

Makes the me I see, seem to fade away
The me only found in scripture

Mirrors tell your story from a different point of view
Scripture tells a story from a divine side of you
It is an instruction manual of what to do
It’s the only time you look at your life
And pray for something new

It is a war inside
Battling the you, you are for the you, you want to be
You know what’s right
You know what to do
It just feels new

REFLECTIONS

One step in front of the other
Walking through a land of unfulfilled dreams
The absence of hope being the only thing I could breathe
Darkness being all I could see
Heaviness in my heart, mind and body
And as I looked at all the emptiness that left me feeling heavy
I shivered,
But I always knew what to run to
My blanket
It provided a sense of warmth that calmed me
But just for a while
Only just for a while

A while later
Here I was seeking out for something
Love, comfort, acceptance, healing and peace
When I felt the faintest insecurity
I would reach out for that temporary embrace
A sense of warmth that calmed me
But just for a while
Only just for a while

I knew it was temporary but I was okay with having temporary continuously
I would find another temporary to fill the expired temporary

I knew there was someone who was always there
But someone who is ALWAYS THERE is simply implying they are permanent
This ‘someone’ not only used to show up at the right time
But was always there even when I thought it wasn’t right

I had adapted to temporary that the thought of ‘someone’ being PERMANENT didn’t just settle well with me
Why would this ‘someone’ do that to themselves?
To ALWAYS BE THERE
The blanket had no expectations or so I thought
I would prefer picking it over the ‘someone’

It wasn’t right that I would deny this ‘someone’ but still say they will never leave
I would run far away but when I look back
He would be right next to me like I never left
I would feel burdened with all that comes with life and living
And he would say ‘give that to me’
‘Let me carry it for you’
Wasn’t I burdening him?
Wasn’t I tiring?
To follow everywhere and always

I asked him why he doesn’t just let me go
I’ve made it clear that I have been managing with temporary
I’ve been managing my problems without him
Not that I did it perfectly
But who is it to say I can’t perfect the skill of ‘management’

And he told me how nothing could separate me from his love
I would go hide in the deepest waters but he will find me
Make my bed in hell and still he would find
And by found I don’t just mean compass and coordinates
I mean he will be with me through it all

I didn’t realize this but it was then when it hit me
There is nothing I would ever do, say, think and feel that would change the love this ‘someone’ had for me
Thank you ‘someone’ for being JESUS

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